The Gospel

Mexico was coming to an end and as each day grew closer to our departure date, our hearts would break further.  Leaving orphaned children behind is no easy task, especially when you have loved them as if you were bringing them home.  “Give until it hurts”.  That’s the quote on our refrigerator and we were living it those last days in Mexico.

I had returned to our little duplex at the mission after a long day’s work and Steve informed me he had received an important email.  “Our dossier has been accepted by Colombia!”, he announced.  To be honest, my heart was so full of sadness at the thought of leaving the children at the mission, I didn’t really embrace the full impact of that statement. At that same time we were sent a picture of two Colombian children from another agency who were a part of a hosting program in Chicago.  We began to investigate that lead and thought that for sure they were to be our children.  After all, it was the first sibling group since J&J that we had known about and the timing seemed perfect.  We began to imagine ourselves adopting them but had to wait one week until sending in a letter with intent to adopt because of the stipulations surrounding the hosting program.  Things seemed to be on a new course and as a family we were on another journey.  It wasn’t until four days later, four days later, that I would realize what that really meant.  

We were driving home and had stopped at the border of California and Nevada for lunch.  We were at the table waiting for our food to arrive when I received a phone call from our adoption agency.  “Can you receive emails where you are? OK. I’m going to send you something.”  Click.  I’m not gonna lie, I immediately thought of J&J.  You know, when you’ve believed God for the impossible, you just never know when He’s going to perform it.  I opened up my email and began to scroll through the Spanish text.  I called Trevor and asked what all of it meant.  He asked if I saw the pictures at the bottom.  No, of course not. I revisited the email as he explained to me that this was an official referral from Colombia.  They had matched us with two children.  No, they weren’t J&J but they were a sibling pair from Colombia and they were handpicked for us.

The pictures caught me off guard.  The first was the oldest child.  A girl.  Eleven.  She looked just like the children I had just said goodbye to in Mexico.  Then there was her little sister.  Another girl.  Two.  TWO.  Yes, two years old!

My head began to swim. Two girls!  That was never on my grid. What about the brother and sister from the hosting program happening in Chicago?   I always thought it would be a brother and a sister but here I was looking at two little girls that needed a mommy, a daddy and a family.  Lord, why two sets of siblings to decide between?  Now, our neat and tidy journey just got complicated.

The drive home was so emotional.  We were told we had 30 days to make a decision.  How do you make a decision?  Don’t you just say ‘yes’ to one and ‘no’ to the other?  It wasn’t so easy.  We began to pray and pray.  We made ‘pros and cons‘ lists, cried, talked and prayed more.  We finally had to ask the Lord to close doors because we couldn’t decide.  It wasn’t because we wanted one sibling group more than the other but how do you say ‘no‘ to either?  They both need a family!  They both need love!  As the days went by we watched God close doors, one by one, to the brother and sister.  It seemed as if God was saying that the girls were His choice for us.

We finally began to receive paperwork on them so that we could learn something about them and what I found literally brought me to my knees.  The details of their past are insignificant to the story (although not to life) and I found myself reading over and over again the line in their report that said the older sister didn’t want to be adopted.  She had a family and wanted them.  I guess it doesn’t matter how badly a parent treats a child, love is love.  Love forgives and believes all things.  She loved them.  Still.  After all this time. After all the pain. She still loved them.  It messed with my mind.  How could I take her from her family?  Technically she wasn’t with them but how could I step into her mother’s shoes and expect her to love me the same way?  How could she love my children if she still loved her other sisters (unadoptable due to age) and still had relationship with them?  How would she ever love our family if she loved hers?  

Steve had already said ‘yes’ in his heart but I couldn’t.  My heart was torn for my biological children. I was hurting for them.  I was hurting for me.

It was a Saturday morning, two Saturdays ago to be exact, when I felt like my epiphany happened.  I had been crying out to the Lord for an answer and in that state, I began to examine the cross.  I have always seen it from Christ’s perspective.  Lay your life down so someone else might have life.  Suffer, if necessary, so that someone else doesn’t have to anymore.  Give up your rights so that someone else can have some.   That’s what adoption was.  ‘Kara, lay your life down so they can have life’.  “Yes” was always my answer but why wouldn’t it come easily?  It was when the perspective changed that everything else did too.  I began to view the cross from the Father’s perspective.  Why I haven’t ever done that I’m not sure.  Maybe I have but the effects of it didn’t stick for some reason.  

I saw the Father giving up His son willfully.  “For God so loved the world that He gave...”.  He gave His son in order to give others the opportunity to gain what the Son had always had...relationship.  He was willing to sacrifice Him in order to win them.  Sacrifice my children?  What loving mother would do that?  Who would knowingly put their child out there to be subject to rejection?  Who would set their child up to be despised?  Then He answered.

“I would.  I did.  I did it for you and so many others. I did it because of Love.  I did it because I wanted many sons to come to Glory.  You are now my child because I was willing to sacrifice my firstborn, my only Son.  Do you think your children are more important than my Son?  Do you think you love them more than I loved my Son?  The same Spirit that lives in you and your children raised my Son from the dead.  Will it not be sufficient for your children?” 

I don’t know if you have ever been delivered but at that moment I was delivered. I was delivered from fear.  I was free to love these two little girls because God had loved me.  I was free to model love for my biological children and trust that the Father would be faithful to them just as He was faithful to bring life to His own Son!  He sweetly ministered other things to my heart that made me smile and as I entertained His presence, I was filled with Peace.  

It might sound so cold to look at your biological children, explain to them the possibilities and know that they may suffer rejection but it was so incredible to look and listen to them share their hearts with me.  With tears streaming down her face, Anna said to me, “Mom, if she doesn’t love me back, that’s ok.  I’ll love her anyway”.

For about 2 weeks I lived with some harsh realities but also comforted by the Father’s love and promise!  Then, last week we got an updated report stating the older sister desires a family now.  She wants to be adopted! The other report was almost two years old!  Isn’t God good to bring me to knees and to that reality of His love and heart?

I’m not naive.  I know she still loves her family. I expect that.  But I also expect God will perform something special in all of us.  Something that goes beyond circumstances, pasts, the present and the future.  The cross.  He works the cross in all those who love Him.  And, the cross isn’t so much about suffering rejection and bearing the weight of Sin, even though that’s a huge part of it.  It’s about something greater.  It’s about Love.  He’ll be faithful to complete the good work He’s begun in all of us.

Now, we are frantically preparing our home for two more....mostly for a TWO year old!  Their bedrooms are almost ready.  Finalizing paperwork is keeping us busy.  Steve is preparing his work for his absence.  Homeschooling is happening as we sort through toys and books.  Life is crazy and about to get crazier.  We hope to be on a plane November 1st and so travel plans are starting to happen.  We’re still fundraising and in need of supernatural provision but I know the Lord will be faithful.  He always is.  In every thing. In every way. He is faithful.

Hopefully we’ll update from Colombia (assuming we have internet).  Until then, please keep us in your prayers.  Pray for the girls’ transition.  Pray for our biological family’s transition.  We are certainly on the biggest journey thus far in our lives but our hearts burn within us because we know that He walks with us!


You can contact us at: 
Rosen Family
P. O. Box 12
Drake, CO 80515
rosenfamily6@yahoo.com                            

Living and Loving in the Baja

Hola!

Well, it's finally here!  After being in Mexico for nearly two weeks we are finally getting around to putting out an update!  Actually, it's been so busy that I haven't really had time to sit and journal everything going on but since I have two sick boys today, I am home with them and have extra time to write.

We arrived at the mission in Mexico on Sunday, August 3rd around 8:30pm.  It was a long day but exciting.  We were headed to our beloved Baja!  I had spent a couple of nights with my sister, Lori, in Los Angeles and woke on Sunday morning early to head south.  We met up with a team from Fountain Valley and began our drive to the border.  We were the middle vehicle in a three-car caravan and felt pretty secure.  Crossing the border is always a game of holding your breath.  For some reason, you pass over and through the guards and have this sense that you're doing something wrong.  What if they search your car and find something that causes them to detain you (even though there's nothing illegal in your possession)...it's the strangest feeling.  You feel guilty as they stare at you even when you're not!  In Tijuana, when you cross, sometimes you get waved on through and other times you get stopped and searched.  Well, we were searched this time.  It wasn't too bad since our suitcases were packed with nothing but the usuals but it was still a slight delay. Then we had to head over to purchase our visas.  In Mexico, at least at the Baja border, when you cross you have to purchase a 6-month visa if you are going to be there longer than 7 days.  Each visa is $25.  That's not a lot unless you're multiplying it times 5 and are on a tight budget already.  That extra $125 could go towards something better than a visa...like food/clothing for the poor.  Anyway, I went in to purchase our visas and after taking care of mine, I asked the officer if it was really necessary for my children to have one.  He said, "How long are you here for?".  I told him 4 weeks and he said "yes" that everyone needed it if it was longer than 7 days.  But then he said, "You shouldn't have told me that you were here for 4 weeks and then I would have let you cross without the fee"...to which I replied, "But the I would have lied and I don't lie".  He paused, looked at me for a moment, and then said, "Just go on and don't tell anyone I did this for you". He stamped our passports and away we went.  Total savings, $100.  My faith-filled Anna said, "See Mom, God always provides".  Yes, He does. 

We crossed and began the drive to Vicente Guerrero.  To the right, the ocean was beautiful and perfect.  To the left, poverty abounded.  God's handiwork vs. man's.  What a contrast.  For the next couple of hours we meandered through the countryside enjoying being back in Mexico and seeing all the sights.  At Ensenada we took a little stop at McDonald's.  One of the ladies in our caravan wanted to buy the kids ice cream.  So, McFlurry's for all!  As we were all gearing up to leave and begin the last two hours of our trip, I realized that I never went into WalMart (which was across the street).  I had to purchase a couple of items to bring to the mission and couldn't go on until I did that.  The team was ready to get going so I did the unthinkable (to everyone but me)....I told them to go on without me. Collective gulp!  They asked if I felt confident to drive the last two hours on my own and I said, "Sure!".  So, I did.  Actually, it was right up my alley.  A little bit of excitement always makes my trips more adventuresome!  The last two hours of driving were wonderful as we followed the only paved highway on the Baja down to the San Quintin Valley.  Once we cleared the mountains we new we were close as the endless western sky was ahead with nothing to stop it as it stretched out over the ocean.  Pulling into Vicente Guerrero caused a burst of "I remember this" and "I remember that" from all of us....we were here....in a way it felt like we were home!

Monday morning came early and our day began as usual here...sala (the missions morning devotions) and work!  We met with our dear friend Marisol and talked with her about the jobs that were available and then she asked what we wanted to do.  It was finally settled and off we went.

Kate:  In the past, normally Kate works in the Day Care.  She loves being with the children but this year she wanted to do something different.  So, her job is in the nut house!  Literally!  She works in the nut house! :)  Here at the mission there is a macadamia nut orchard with over 2,000 trees.  It's organic and the only business (other than the gift shop) functioning to bring in income.  Other than that money, the mission survives on donations alone.  So, the work done there is pretty important.  We're nearing harvest season again and since last year's harvest was twice the harvest from the year before there is still quite a bit of work left over to be done.  When we arrived Kate went through training and was taught how to sort through the nuts, determining which were superior from those that were good, bad and ugly (literally).  Each having different functions ultimately.  The superior ones are sold to a buyer in Mexico City and so they have to be top notch.  Kate, through training and now working hands on with the nuts, has become quite the macadamia nut connoisseur.  She works with two other people and has really been enjoying her job.  Although she's not directly been working with the orphans, she feels like the Lord has been doing a lot inside of her and has been teaching her a lot about herself and Him just by working with nuts....I told her God's used a lot of nuts to teach me about Him, too, (and that I'm the biggest one!)  :) 

Anna:  A few years ago when Anna began working in the Learning Center (House of Mephibosheth), God taught her the difference in serving the disabled in your own strength and serving in His.  So, now when we come, her heart is to serve there.  She's there every day from 8am until 1pm.  She does everything from preparing snacks to tutoring.  She's quite the busy little bee and loves every second of it.  In the afternoons, she works in Children Evangelism.  She leaves the mission with a teacher and some visitors (people who come and serve for one week and leave are called "visitors") and goes out into the communities nearby to bring spiritual and natural food for the children.  The areas are impoverished but the people are beautiful.  The evangelism team sets up a tarp, gathers the children from the streets, does crafts, tells stories, performs skits and does various other activities to communicate the gospel to these little ones.  Then before leaving, they give every child a heaping spoonful of peanut butter and a glass of milk because vitamin D and protein are missing from these kids' diet.  She loves being a part of this ministry.  She misses dinner with the family every evening but always comes in with a BIG smile on her face.

Stephen: Well, this is a big year for him here.  Normally, he works by Steve's side because he's been too young to have his own work assignment.  This year, Daddy isn't here (yet) and so Stephen's been trusted by the mission to be on his own.  He works with a dear friend of ours, Rafael (local Mexican) doing construction.  He's been cutting tile for the floors that are being laid in the renovations for staff housing.  He's been painting, grouting and hanging cabinets as well.  He loves being hands on and has a huge sense of accomplishment when he looks back at what he's done.  The other thing that Stephen has been doing is spending any free time with the boys of Casa 4 (House 4) and another boy his age in the next village over.  These are boys that we have watched grow up that are comparable to Stephen's age.  We love them all dearly and it's good for them to all spend time together playing football (soccer).  Friendships deepen and lots of notes are taken - on both sides.  It's a real opportunity for these boys to see how a young man is supposed to be (not that Stephen is perfect but he's being trained in righteousness by a father) and it's good for Stephen to see what happens when you go without that training and that he should not resist it.  Proverbs says it best, "My son hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother.  For they shall be an ornament of grace upon thy head and chains about thy neck". Listen to your mother and father, Stephen, and Lord, give us wisdom!  

Quick story: Last night one of the Casa 4 boys was over for dinner at our place and after being with us for a few hours we brought him home.  When we arrived I asked the Casa mom if I could speak with her.  She agreed and we walked outside together.  (Note: Casa parents care for 8-15 children 24/7.  It's really challenging to give every child everything they need ... most days they are just trying to keep order and keep the laundry done.)  I had wanted to ask this casa mom if it was ok if when Steve arrived if we could take all the boys to the beach but the conversation quickly turned to her talking about needing wisdom and strength.  Her heart to serve these boys is so beautiful but there aren't enough hours in the day to give each of them what they are lacking because of being orphaned and she sees that and is crying out to the Lord for provision. Please remember to pray for her.  I'll call her Estella.

Nathan gets to work with Mommy and he loves it!  My job is in the Cuna (nursery) this year.  I help another woman care for 9 babies under the age of 3.  It's a full time job but Nathan is right by my side, working as hard as I am!  His biggest job is to play with those little ones, get the runny noses, gather sippy cups, and report stinky diapers.  I don't know what I would do without him.  As for me, as much as I love what I do, it's also heart wrenching.  These babies are here for various reasons.  Some are here because their parents were in an accident and died, some are here because social services took them from abusive homes, some are here because their parents can't feed or care for them any longer...in any case, these babies are orphaned.  There are couple of children that won my heart instantly and I want to bring them home with me (but then there's that border crossing issue...)  anyway, one of the little girls here arrived just a couple of days before we did and her transition was quite traumatic.  She's three and spent the first week here on an emotional roller coaster.  She quickly latched on to me and began calling me "mommy".  Either I look like her mom or my role as a mom in caring for her causes that response.  She's very petite and must have an american mother/father because she's very light skinned.  When she came here from social services, her hair was cut short like a boy's but this little beauty is anything but boyish.  She's a girly girl.  She likes bows and ribbons and dresses and "zapatos" (shoes).  There are serious signs of abandonment and abuse and in my anger I struggle to have Christ's heart for her parents but I know that Jesus died for them too.  So, I ask Him for His heart to pray for their healing and salvation so that their family can be reunited and have a testimony to the faithfulness of God.  There is also another another who has won my heart... a little man. 

He's somewhere between 18 and 24 months old.  Three days ago he was brought here by his father (who is a migrant worker).  I assume that the father can no longer care for him.  In the camps the adults work for 12-13 hour days and so the children are basically left on their own.  There might be a few people left to keep an eye on them while the parents work but that really means the children do whatever they want all day long and are just kept within the camp's perimeter.  I've seen these kids just wandering around all day long and it's heartbreaking.  I'd like to think that this dad wants more for "little man" than life in the camp and so he brought him here to the mission.  I don't know where the mom was.  Maybe she's not around at all, maybe she was so heartbroken that they had to give him up that she couldn't bring herself to come to the orphanage.  I don't know.  All I know is that this little man is so precious.  He's very dark skinned...Mexican Indian. His people are from the indigenous tribes of Mexico.  His little black hairs stand straight up on his head and he looks like a little porcupine.  His crooked smile melts my heart and his dark black eyes break it when they fill with tears as he holds his arms up for me to lift him into mine.  I'm sure it tore his father's heart out to leave his son here and yet he must smile at the thought of his son being clean and having a full tummy and 24 hour care.  Oh Jesus, this is such a broken world. 

In another update I will tell you about Alma.  She's a friend of mine who is in great need and is suffering quite a bit right now. Please keep her in your prayers.  

As for now, I must go.  Stephen and Nathan caught a bug that has been going around the Cuna (because all of my children are in there with every little break from work they get).  So, the girls got the bug first (and me) and now the boys have it.  The only good thing about it is that it has given me the chance to sit and write an update.  Otherwise, I'd be too busy to write.

I'll post another update soon and until then, pray for the people of Mexico.  They are beautiful people and in need of the gospel and His hands and feet.  Pray about serving in this nation.  It's our closest neighbor in need and I promise, it will richly bless you.

I pray your summer is going well and that you are enjoying all the benefits of being His....

Saved to love,

Kara and kids

Held Together By Love

Held Together By Love

Well, to say that it's been a long time since my last post would be quite the understatement!  Some of you may be wondering what in the world is going on with our adoption, others might think we took our fundraising money and jet set for Santorini (actually we would have only made it to the middle of the Atlantic) and a few of you know the whole story....which I finally will share publicly.  

One of my hesitations for sharing this publicly is because I wanted to be able to give responses to questions or comments....especially if the remark was made "but I thought God said".  I wanted to be able to defend God ... but then I remembered Job.  God needs no defense.  He is who He is and I love Him for that.

Last September we learned that the middle man on our case wasn't so honest.  To be blunt, he lied, deceived, betrayed us and sabotaged our adoption.  By the time we learned about this, our two children were in someone else's arms.

The news came as a blow and to be honest, we couldn't go on with adopting...anyone.  We stopped learning Spanish and put the paperwork on hold.  Then the Big Thompson Flood came a week later and our evacuation was a much needed diversion from the situation at hand.  We moved to Loveland for 4 months and got very involved in local activities that kept us busy.  Late winter, I went to a special evening to hear the testimony of a friend who had just adopted.  Their story was quite amazing but the thing that caught me off guard was the fact that this little girl had been in multiple homes before finding my friend's family as her forever home.  This little girl was the victim (really?) of failed adoptions and they led her to her current home where she is thriving!

Somewhere along the way that evening, my heart began to beat again....I did feel the pain of loss again but I also felt something different....hope.  

Early Spring, when we should have been getting our children, we were scheduled to meet a little girl that other friend's had adopted from Colombia.  We were on the same track as they were and should have been introducing each to the other's child, but that's not how it worked out.  I'm not gonna lie, we were a little nervous about the meeting because I didn't know what kind of emotions would be evoked....and my children, they were a little apprehensive as well.  Finally, the big day came and the most surprising thing happened.  Our hearts burst with love for this little girl and we all knew that the impossible was possible.  We could love other children the way we had loved J&J!  We were ready to begin the process again!

So, the process to adopt is underway.  Regarding J&J, well, we believe as much today as we did then that they are our children.  How that will play out is really God's business.  He asks us to trust Him and so we do.  We cannot pray that their adoption will fail because that means we are praying that they would endure further pain and disappointment.  We do pray for them, however, that God will bless them and keep them and that His will would be done in their lives.  If that involves us at some point in the future, God knows our hearts and our home will always be open to them....or if our place in their lives is just to love them and pray for them and then we meet them someday in Glory, then so be it.   God is not a man that He should lie.  He is faithful to His promises and He keeps His word.  How He does that is His business and it is mine to trust Him.

Meanwhile, we are waiting to see who the Lord will bring us.  It's a little different this time around because we don't know who the children are that we are adopting but God does.  We trust Him that He will bring to us those that belong with us.

If I had written this post months ago, I'm certain it would have been more emotional and less direct and to-the-point, but I'm writing it now, from Mexico, and to be honest, I'm writing from a very real place....an orphanage... where every day I take care of children who have been abandoned or who have parents who died.  My adoption story isn't so dramatic or emotional when I look into the eyes of children who hurt so deeply that only the finger of God will be able to wipe away their tears.  The fears here that some of these children have are so great that when I think that I feared what people would think about us (since we had made so bold a statement about J&J), it exposes my pride and I am ashamed.  It's one thing to be sitting at home in the comfort of your life pursuing an adoption but it's another thing to be here holding children that will most likely, never be adopted.  Yes, this is an amazing place. The children are loved, safe and want for

nothing....except a family.  This is the reality of Mexico's orphans and millions of others and my story is about the reality of what you will do when you say "yes" to God....what you might go through when you say "yes" to God. It might be losing it all or gaining the world but is it about you or is it about Him?  Is it about believing that you belong to Him for Him to do what He wills with your life, possessions and emotions?  They were purchased for His use, for His glory.  Becoming Love isn't easy.  Sometimes He gives and sometimes He takes away.  Sometimes He does it all at the same time but what is love's response?  Do we pout and quit or do we stand our ground and determine to be available no matter the cost?    

How could I have thought that my heart could only love J&J...sure, God's fingerprints were all over it but to think that His hand couldn't hold someone else for us love...really? .... I couldn't believe how selfish my heart could be.   Where was my faith?  For months it was in what I could see, the promises, the dreams.  Today, I stand sobered because of my surroundings and yet, full of faith....in God....the one I cannot see yet the one whom I trust and love.  

I want to be Love.  I want to live with open hands.  I want to live with a heart willing to be broken.  I want to enjoy the pain and the glory of Love.  I want Him.

I care not today what the morrow may bring,

If shadow or sunshine or rain,

The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,

And all of my worries are vain.

Living by faith in Jesus above,

Trusting, confiding in His great love;

From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,

I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for;  the evidence of things not seen"....Hebrews 11:1

The Lord Hath Sworn

Waiting and trusting the Lord is not an easy thing.  My faith has been challenged like never before.  Steve has been rock solid.  If the Lord has spoken, He has spoken and He cannot lie.

One month ago the adoption agency called us and let us know that the Italian family was in full swing of adopting our children from Colombia.  They asked us what we wanted to do about the money we had already sent them.  Steve said, "I'm not trying to be difficult.  I'm not trying to make a point.  I know this sounds crazy to you but I'm not changing my position.  Those children in Colombia are ours.  God hasn't spoken otherwise.  We're still standing and waiting for something to happen that will bring them back to us."  They said okay and then that was that.

That news was the final nail in the coffin.  Our hearts knew that it was officially impossible.  However, in the midst of it, Steve declared that this final blow to the reality of our adopting the sibling pair was going to make our miracle more incredible!

A week ago last Sunday, Eric, our pastor, spoke on the lineage of Christ.  It was incredible to see how in the face of impossibility God managed to come through every time and preserve the seed that would become the Savior.  Even our children's faith surged as we listened to God's faithfulness to His promises.  There was one part in the geneology where there seemed to be no hope. The kingly line was being cut off.  Then the deliverer came in the form of a woman who spared the life of the one who would be king....her name meant "the Lord hath sworn".  Blown away by God's covenant keeping mercy to mankind, I began to cry as I thought of how His promises haven't changed.  He is still keeping His word!

The next day, Monday, the children had a badminton tournament and in the middle of it Steve got a text message to call Trevor.  He returned the call and the conversation went something like this:

Steve:  Hey Trevor.

Trevor:  Hey Steve.  Has Florida called you?

Steve:  No, should they?

Trevor:  Yes.  (Sarcastically) Coincidently, the Italian couple has dropped out of the adoption process.  Something came up in their paperwork and they cannot continue pursuing the adoption.  The orphanage called and wanted to know if you and your family still wanted to adopt J&J.  Are you still interested?

Steve:  Trevor, our stance is the same.  It's never changed.  Those are our children. We've been waiting for this to happen.

The next few moments are a blur to me.  I laughed so hard I started to lose my voice.  I smiled so much my face hurt.  I cried tears of joy.  We pulled our children aside and told them the news.  Anna burst into tears.  Kate shouted with joy.  Stephen hugged me so tight I could barely breathe.  Nathan ran back and forth with his hands in the air screaming "Yeah"!

As we were rejoicing with our children, Steve said to Stephen, "Son, don't ever let circumstances, what people say, others doubt and unbelief change your position of faith.  Let this be a memorial for you.  When God speaks, only the word of the Lord matters.  Nothing else. God keeps His word!"  Stephen looked straight into his father's eyes and said with confidence, "For the Lord hath sworn".

Tuesday, we spoke to the agency and they added to the excitement.  "Colombia wants to expedite the adoption because of everything that has gone on.  We need your dossier in a month!"  What? A month!  Is it possible?  With God all things are possible! :)

As we continued the conversation with them we asked about having biological children since that was why they refused us and gave our little ones to the Italian family.  The response healed a place in my heart that I didn't even realize was wounded.  Basically, this particular orphanage had specific reasons for not adopting their children out to families with biological children but God changed their hearts concerning us and they have made an exception for our family.  We know that God has prevailed!

This testimony is because of Him and Him alone.  There was no hope in sight.  Lazarus was dead....but we serve a God who is the Resurrection! He has the power to bring the dead to life!

We are on a fast track to Colombia....however, we are still in need of miracles!  Supposedly having your fingerprints done, sent to the FBI and given the go ahead from the background check takes about 5 months.  We need it before then!  Please help us pray that we will have favor and our paperwork will fly through the system.

We need prayers for us, our biological children and our Colombian children!

Steve and I need so much wisdom in how to parent our four at home while we spend every waking moment pursuing this adoption.  One of the things that can easily happen is for everyone else to get overlooked while we are working to bring J&J home.  Our desire is to remain attentive to their needs, find time for long walks, long talks and some extracurricular activities in order to continue to communicate with them their preciousness and value to us.  We need prayer that our final months together with our biological children will be rich with an extra measure of love and grace as we prepare our hearts and our home for the arrival of two more!

It's so wonderful to see Kate, Anna, Stephen and Nathan embrace these children.  They are so full of love towards our Colombians children that it is astounding at times.  Steve and I are not ignorant concerning the great change that is coming to our hearts and our home.  Even though we probably can't fully imagine the scope of it, we are still confident that God will enable us and our biological children to thrive in the midst of it.  Please help us pray that we will be so fortified as a family that the enemy will not be able to prevail in an attack against any one of us.  Our desire is to be made stronger through this process ... to love more completely!

We are praying for J&J that God has already begun their healing process. We don't know their story yet but if they are in an orphanage, there has to be pain on some level if not many.  Our heart is to see them fully healed and integrated into our family without too much suffering in the transition period.  It's going to be a huge deal for them to leave their home, which according to our sources, is a wonderful place.  Also, they will be leaving their country and culture.  As diversified as America is, it still isn't Latin America.  They will be living together as brother and sister for the first time in quite a while (how long we're not sure) ... so there will be adjustments there, not to mention gaining 4 more siblings!  So much for their little minds and hearts to absorb.  We really need the Lord to overwhelm the situation and do what He does best.

And finally, we need to raise $37,000.00 for this adoption!  That in itself is a miracle!  Usually you pay the same amount per child regardless of the amount of children adopted.  Colombia doesn't charge a full fee for a sibling.  They only charge administrative fees (approx. $5,000).  Then we need another $5,000 for our biological children to come with us to Colombia for 6 weeks while we spend time there getting to know J&J (required by orphanage).  All in all $37,000 is wonderful!  I had a friend who adopted two brothers from Russia....$50,000.  So, we're thankful for our fee!  We will be applying for grants for some of this but the rest will come through donations and fundraising!  Pray we get really creative!

Please join us in prayer!  We need God to continue to move on our behalf...on J&J's behalf!  If you want to send an encouraging word, please do.  If you want to support us financially, there is a link to the Rosen Family Adoption Fund through PayPal at the top of the blog on the right or at the bottom of the blog!  :)  However, if you just want to pray, we will most assuredly benefit from those prayers and we'll trust God to do the rest!

Thank you to all of you who have stood with us and believed in the impossible! Our God is able, He is faithful and He is good!  We've been warned that there is still a risk until they are in our home but it's one that we will continue to take!

All glory, honor and praise to our God!  The Lord hath sworn!

Walking By Fath

It's a beautiful but quite morning.  It's snowing outside.  It's cold inside.  My fire is struggling in the fireplace.  Steve's not here to build a man's fire.  The kids are at co-op.  I need to write an update on our adoption.

It's been a while since my initial post concerning our pursuing two precious siblings in Colombia and that's been because we've been busy putting the final touches on our remodel.  We're happy to announce that we're officially in our home and eager to get settled!

It's a new year and God seems to be wanting to teach me more about Him and this journey of faith.  It started back in December when I made my first post about our Colombian children.  Out of the blue, I received an email from a friend that I haven't seen since 10th grade.  That was a long time ago.  He had somehow come across my blog and felt the need to respond.  In the email, he dared to speak very directly to me concerning my faith for finances.  If I weren't familiar with God's strange ways of speaking to me, I would have gotten offended; but, instead I laughed.  I couldn't believe that God was actually sending me an email via an old friend!  The words went deep into my soul concerning the faith God was calling me to with one line sticking out more than others......."This is the acid test".

I have faith...the fact that I had actually hit "publish" and posted the first blog was a huge act of faith because the voices in my head were giving me every reason not to.  What if something happens to the adoption process?  What if the money doesn't come in? What if?  I could hardly imagine my faith being tested more.  Why was God speaking to me so forthrightly about faith?

Two weeks after the blogpost, we received an exciting call.  The orphanage in Colombia wanted a pre-homestudy interview and fast!  WOW! We couldn't believe this.  So, I pulled over on the side of the road and spent two hours telling our story...this was an incredible day!  Then the instructions to hurry up and wait!  That's how Colombia is, I'm told.

Then finally, the big call came.  We were working on the house and the phone rang.  Our dear consultant from Florida was on the phone and she wanted to speak to both of us.  I got Steve and we put her on speaker phone.  The rest is sort of a blur as I recall the words, "The orphanage rejected your letter of intent because you have biological children and has placed your children with an Italian couple".  I couldn't speak. Steve said something but I don't remember what it was. I walked into the closet and sank to the floor.  What about our children here at home? What about our miracle in December? What about our Colombian children? Would our kids' here at home lose faith because of this? Why?

I wish I could say that I responded like a godly woman would but my response was shock!  Steve's response was to appeal.  We called a Spanish speaking friend and wrote our letter of appeal to the Colombian contact at the orphanage.  Once again, hurry up and wait.

Steve began to seek God daily concerning these children and after asking Him one night how long must we continue to wait and ask, he was reminded through Scripture, in Luke 18, about the widow who continued to plead with this judge and finally got his attention.  The judge responded that he would avenge her because her persistence was wearying him.  Jesus said, "Shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though He bear long with them?  I tell you that He will avenge them speedily.  Nevertheless, when the Son of man cometh, shall He find faith in the earth?"  So, we got the message loud and clear.  Don't waiver in your faith.  Be persistent.  Weary the Judge of the earth if necessary.

We began to spend our time asking God how to tell Kate, Anna, Stephen and Nathan.  There was  praying and fasting.  I was busy trying to make sense of what God was doing and together, Steve and poured over every single detail of this entire process and we still came up with the same conclusion, "those are our children in Colombia and although man has said "No", God hasn't".  God determines our lives. When He says "Yes", it's yes.  When He says "No", it's no.  He can do what He wants and we'll accept it.  For now, the yes is still yes and we're not waivering.

This is the acid test.

While waiting and continuing to remodel our home, Steve has been working on a powerful media project concerning the authenticity of Christ and His right to govern our lives. Canon.  His working time on this project was upwards of 36 hours and orchestration was nearly complete when he heard his computer making a strange sound.  Yes, hard drive failure.  No backup.

I knew this was an attack of the enemy.  First our Colombian kids and now the message that has been burning in Steve's heart for two years is gone.  He turned in disbelief but also in an absolute resolve to continue in faith.  As he sat down at the dinner table, my broken husband asked our children to remind him of God's faithfulness.  He humbled himself before them and said that he needed his faith to be increased.  He was admitting that his soul was under attack and he needed to be reminded of God's providence.  One by one, each of our children shared God's faithfulness over the years.  Stephen shared how when he was 4 years old that God had put a bubble around him as he waited below the surface in 8 feet of water for his daddy to find him, which happened over a minute later.   God saved him from drowning!  Kate testified how the tip of her finger grew back after she cut if off peeling potatoes and how she has feeling in it even though the doctors said she wouldn't.  Nathan testified about the miracle of how God had spared our family from any harm in a recent car accident and Anna reminded us that God had brought our Colombian children back to us after they were given to another family last fall.  Yes, God was faithful and all of our faith was increased as we listened to Him being glorified.

Steve said his goodnights and retired to our room early to spend time with the Lord.  As he opened his Bible, it fell open to Luke 11:5-13...it's a good read.  Persistence pays off with God.  Ask. Seek. Knock. So he did, again.

The next morning, Steve left early for church to attend a men's meeting and I stayed home to get the family dressed.  In my quiet time before I woke the children up, I just sensed that it was the day that we should let the kids know what was happening.  It wouldn't leave me and so I thought that I would ask Steve about it later to see what he said.

For some reason,that particular Sunday morning it was incredibly challenging to get everyone together and in the car at the same time....there were little frustrations here and there, nitpicking about every little things, etc.  What was going on with my kids?  So, I cancelled church.  "We're not going to church and pretend like we're Christians if we can't be Christians here at home".  So, we sat on the couch and began working through our little issues.  I had called Steve and left him a message to inform him that we wouldn't be there.  I had expected that he would call me back and he did.  However, he wasn't so much concerned with what was going on as he was that we weren't headed to church (since we live 45 minutes away).  What was the big deal?  He would normally want me to deal with the children instead of ignoring their bickering and going to church as if everybody was great...why was this time different?  Then he said that he wanted me at church and to listen to the message.  It was going to be on faith.  The Man of Faith.

I knew instantly that we were to tell the children about the adoption complications that day and then Steve said that was what we were going to do after church.  He wanted us to be sitting there listening to the Word of God and declare our position as those who have faith in what they cannot see, believing that it is.

Done. We jumped in the car and soon were sitting there listening to all the verses that God had reminded us of over the last two weeks and more.  We had gained a position and the enemy was after it.  Were we going to take it sitting down?  Steve wasn't but I kind of had been, however, that morning something had changed. I woke up with a resolve to believe God in spite of what I saw.

We sat there over chips and salsa and began to remind our children of God's faithfulness and His goodness and then we told them of our situation.  Praise God that the united response was one of faith and expectancy!  God hadn't only built mine and Steve's faith the night before through our testimony time but we remembered that we had received a phone call in December that changed our lives so we could receive another one!  Our God doesn't have a quota for miracles!

So, here we are.  We worship while we're waiting.  We serve while we're waiting.  We pray while we're waiting.  We trust Him while we're waiting.  We wait upon the Lord.

One of the things we've learned in this life is that our lives belong to Him...in EVERY situation.   He is the author and the finisher of our faith.

So, this time it's just as difficult to hit the "publish" key as it was with the first post.  This time not because something might go wrong....but because it already has.  This time, it's challenging because I'm sure we look crazy continuing to stand for these children when so much is against us. It's hard because we could be accused of being in denial or foolish in the first place for believing that God ever spoke to us.  And worse....God might look like a liar to those who believed He did speak.  So many reasons to leave this message in my draft box.

 Nevertheless, we stand ... and I hit the "publish" key.

Will you join us in prayer for these children that God will protect them and keep Him in His hands?  Will you pray for us that we will remain strong and confident in the face of such adversity? Will you pray for the orphanage that they will change their stance and give our little ones back to us? Will you help us pray that this Italian woman will be able to have children?  Will you pray for our faith to be stronger than ever?

Heb. 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him; for he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him."

TWO Good To Be True!

Dear Friends and Family,    
                                                            

“The Lord is righteous in all His ways.  Gracious in all His works.  The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.  He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them.  The Lord preserves all who love Him.”    
Psalm 145:14-20

This is the post we've all been waiting for!
Yes!  We're adopting!
 It's crazy, it's scary but it's wonderful!  We want to share our story with you.....it's great!

Sixteen years ago, we (Steve and Kara) were married in Houston, Texas on a warm November day.  Soon after that we began to talk of having children and found ourselves longing to fill our home with love and laughter.  As those desires began to manifest with the birth of our first three children, we knew that our family wasn’t complete.  So, for about two years, we entertained the idea of a fourth child.  Our conversations began to include the idea of adopting another child and although that resonated within both of us, we also felt that it might be possible that we were to have another biological child.  So, we began to pray about it.  Considering we were getting later in our years, we knew that we needed an answer quickly; therefore, we asked for one and God answered. Nathan was born nine months later.

As our home quickly filled with sounds of growing children, our hearts still yearned within us for more and we knew that God was calling us to adopt.  But when and how?  For those of you who know our story, our lives weren’t working out as planned....God had a different path and at the time, it wasn’t easy.  Yet, still we waited on Him.  

Four years ago this week, everything changed.  We were in Oregon visiting family when one afternoon Anna and Nathan came up to us weeping.  As Anna held Nathan, with tears streaming down her face, we all listened to Nathan tell us about what had just happened to him.  He said, “I was sitting on Grammy’s green carpet and God spoke to me.  He said it’s time to move, get a new house and go get our two babies...a boy and a girl.”  Anna spoke up and said, “It’s true.  When Nathan came and told me this I knew it was a word of the Lord”.

For those of you who may not know this about us, we believe God still speaks.  We also know that if you believe and listen you will hear Him also.  Nathan was listening that day and what he heard changed our lives forever.  The word of the Lord that came to our home confirmed every desire that we had for adoption but it also established that it wasn’t just our idea but it was God’s.  However, here was a little boy about to be four years old and his sister, who expected us to leave at that moment and fulfill everything that God had just spoken.  As we carefully explained how it works when God speaks, we realized the enormity of that word and also our inability to do anything about it.  Sometimes you can obey God’s word and your obedience brings it to pass and other times you just have to let Him be God and do the work for you.  This was one of those times.  So we waited.

As time rolled on, we felt the call of God to move to Colorado and attend a Bible college there.  Knowing that this was where we were supposed to be, we started to put down roots.  The children began to make friends, we began to make friends and even found a cute little house to rent just two blocks from church.  Soon after the move, the Lord took the whole Rosen family to the Baja for a month’s work at an orphanage and life was  moving along.  However, we still found it difficult to be settled.  Shortly after returning from our first trip to Mexico, we were asked to move out of the home we were renting due to the owner’s personal situation.  Thankfully, dear friends let us live in their home for a few months until we could find something else.  Then we found our dream home......

Actually, it was a foreclosure that was 4” off plum on a six foot level on more than one wall!  Not exactly our dream home but it was in a high mountain valley on four acres and God was calling us there.  We knew it with every fiber of our being.  So, the process of remodeling began.  As construction started, we had to move out.  So, we spent our time going back to the orphanage in Mexico to serve, attending my sister’s wedding, visiting family all over the country and living with our wonderful friends.

A couple of months ago, on just another Sunday, a friend of ours announced in church that he had just begun working for an adoption agency and was going to be bringing approximately 40 children to Colorado for a hosting program with the intent of having them exposed for the purpose of adoption.  If anyone was interested in the hosting program they could see him after church.  The price for this three week time period was normally between $3,000-$5,000 but through anonymous donors and the aid of the Colombian government, the cost would be $250 per child.  WHAT? This was a miracle!  We could do that!  We wondered, “God is this the beginning of you bringing your word to pass?”  We couldn’t wait for service to be over so that we could sign up!  Our friend replied to our fury of questions, “ Yes, there are sibling pairs in the group and yes, you can look at the list and choose the children you want to host”.  We scrolled down the page.  Face after face appeared.  Sibling group after sibling group went by but we didn’t see them.  Then, as the numbers 40 and 41 graced the top of the screen, there they were.  *J&J (as we affectionally call them).  When we saw their names on the page we couldn’t believe our eyes....her name was the name we always said we would name another girl if we had one and his name is a Rosen family name. Their ages are what we had prayed for. 

There they were, brother and sister, side by side.  We were overwhelmed.

It seemed as though a holy hush fell over us and at the same time a joyful noise rang forth as we all exclaimed that these two were our son and daughter, brother and sister.  It was decided.  We would get them for the month of December for the hosting program and then they would go home and we would just continue with the waiting until all the paperwork went through.  Our family was overjoyed.  God had done it! 

Our excitement was short lived as two weeks later we received a call that there had been a mistake and *J&J had already been placed with another family.  It felt as if we had just lost two children.  As we grieved and the tears came, so did a strong sense that this wasn't right.  These were our children and we were certain God had made that clear to us.  It was amazing how we knew that after just a short time. 

That same weekend at a church meeting, Steve shared that *J&J had been placed with another family but that we were going to stand in faith and believe God for those children.  We never felt a release in our hearts from the Lord and so while we couldn't do anything, we chose to remain steadfast and trust the Lord.  These two children, on another continent, were still tugging at our hearts and wouldn’t let go.  As husband and wife we began to ask the Lord how to pray concerning them and finally decided to pray for the other family that they would realize that *J&J weren’t the right children for them.  It sounds strange to pray that way but we really believed that they belonged to us and unless God changed our hearts we were going to believe that way.

As time went on, the house remodel was progressing, we continued to live with our friends, homeschooling continued and the holiday season came upon us.  It was Hanukkah and although we were busy from sun up to sun down running up and down the mountain working on the house, the beauty of this celebration, once again, gripped our hearts.  Each night, for a week, we would read about the history of Hanukkah, have dinner, exchange gifts, sing, light the candles and share about our Savior, the Light of the World.  Regarding *J&J, there was no news.  They were out of the system, placed with another family and very much a part of ours.

It was the last night of Hanukkah and two weeks ago today.  We were working on our house when the phone rang.  It was the call that changed our lives.  Our Florida contact for the adoption agency was on the phone.  She was at a company picnic and had just received word from Colombia.  For whatever reason, the family who was going to adopt *J&J pulled out of the adoption and the children were now available.  She asked if the Rosen’s were still interested.  “YES!”  As we gathered more information, our hearts pounded and our minds raced a million miles a minute.  The joy was unspeakable and our emotions ran high.  All we could do was praise God!  There were so many questions to ask and yet we knew all we needed to know.  God had done what was impossible for anyone to do.  He came through and proved that He is able to do what no man can.

Each night of Hanukkah it was someone else’s turn to light a candle. It was appropriate that it was Nathan’s turn to light the last candle of Hanukkah.  Here we were exactly four years later from when we were in Oregon when God had used Nathan to confirm to our hearts that we were to adopt.  As we sat around the dinner table, we spoke of what the miracle of the holiday was and how Christ was the fulfillment of this wonderful event.  We ate dinner by the candlelight and then passed out the remaining gifts.  As the children opened up their last present, we told them that there was one more.  We asked them to close their eyes as we began to tell them of God’s faithfulness and how He could be trusted with the smallest and the greatest details of our lives.  They listened as we shared about His goodness and His power.  Each child was challenged to remember this night for the rest of their lives and to look back on it whenever anyone would try to sway them concerning their trust in the Lord.  It was a night that would stand as a memorial stone in their hearts forever.  

As they each sat there with their eyes closed, listening to their father speak of God’s greatness, a folded piece of paper was placed in front of each of them with their names on it.  Under each name was written, “Your God is good”.  Finally it was time.  They were instructed to open their eyes and look at their final present.  As they all opened the piece of paper, they beheld a picture of *J&J.  Tears began to fall, mouths fell open, gasps were heard around the table, sobs soon filled the air as the story of this great miracle began to be told.  Kate’s face was buried in her hands as she sobbed.  Anna’s tears fell one after the other as she just sat there staring at their picture.  Stephen was chattering incessantly about how incredible this was and Nathan chimed in with his exclamations of joy about our pursuing the adoption of *J&J.

As each candle burned down further and further and the darkness of evening slowly began to encroach upon us, as parents we sat there watching each of our children bask in the light of God’s love.  No one would ever be able to tell them there wasn’t a God, that He didn’t love them and that He didn’t care about every little detail of their lives.  He had proved it.  He was a God of miracles.  He loves *J&J and has a plan for their lives as well.  He has seen their plight.  He knows their story and ours and He has a purpose in joining our hearts and lives.

So, here we are.  Looking back on the last couple of years, we see where God has been setting us up in order to keep His word.  He brought us to Colorado in order to keep His promise.  “It’s time to MOVE.”  Then He spoke very clearly about the little foreclosure in the mountains and miraculously provided for our home and is now fulfilling “It’s time to get a NEW HOUSE”.  Now He has begun the process of bringing to pass “It’s time to get OUR TWO BABIES”.  Truly, our God is good.

Lastly, we want to thank each of you who have been a part of this journey with us.  Many of you have seen us walk through some difficult times and yet you’ve watched the faithfulness of the Lord in our lives.  He has chosen to move in supernatural ways (as with this situation) at times but mostly He has used people, His hands and feet in the earth to minister to us and to teach us of His unfailing love.  He’s used each of you to love us with His love.

God has taught us to trust Him with the smallest of things and with the greatest.  This adoption is one of the greatest areas of trust that God has called us to.  Once again, we are in a position of need and have nothing to bring to the table but love....yet we have a Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  He will choose to provide for *J&J and for us how He wants to.  

Please join us in praying for *J&J.  Even though they are siblings and have a close relationship, they live apart from each other.  Pray that this will be a quick process for their sakes.  We want to reunite them as soon as possible.  We are just at the beginning but if all goes well, and we believe it will, we should be bringing *J&J home by the end of 2013.  Pray for their safety, their health and the mending of their hearts.  We don’t know their story but God does.  There's a lot we don't know, but what we do know is that God can heal any wounds and we believe He will.

Also, please pray that God will give us creative ways to fundraise.  Adoption is expensive but we’ve been blessed with an agency that truly has the Father’s heart.  We are also blessed that Colombia is a country eager to place their orphaned children and are doing what they can to make the process go smoothly.  We would love to be able to fund this with our own resources but once again, God has called us to something greater than we can pull off on our own.  WE NEED HIM TO PROVIDE!  Please pray for us to not waiver in our faith concerning what He can do. 

As you pray, please feel free to drop us a word of encouragement.  You would be surprised at the negative comments people make concerning adoption.  Things like, “What if they have baggage?  Isn’t that expensive?  How are you going to provide for six children in this economy?  Do you have some love void you’re trying to fill?” and so on.  If you are moved to encourage us.....please do!    :)  

Our new address is below or you can reach us at:
thevalleystudio@mac.com (Steve) or rosenfamily6@yahoo.com (Kara).  

We will continue to post updates as we get them.  Please check here often!

Thank you for enduring this long letter.  Sometimes a story is so good you have to share all of it!  We love you and wish you the most joyful New Year!  

For those of you who may not know the God we have spoken of, our heavenly Father....He is so good! His greatest act of Love towards us was to adopt us into His family!  He did this by sending His only Son, Jesus/Yeshua (His Hebrew name), into the world in order to die for the remission of our sins and to raise from the dead that we might have access to His LIFE!  We no longer have to live in bondage to sin and suffer the effects of it in our lives.  God then sent His Spirit that we might be filled with His power.  He did this so we would be able to live this Life by loving the way He loved us!  In order to be one of His children and to have this amazing Life, all you have to do right now is call upon Him.  He will answer!  He is faithful.  He loves YOU!

“The Lord is righteous in all His ways.  Gracious in all His works.  The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.  He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them.  The Lord preserves all who love Him.”    -Psalm 145:14-20

Steve and Kara Rosen

P.O.Box 12

Drake, CO 80515

970-667-4477 (home)

*For legal purposes, we cannot share the names of our Colombian children or post photographs.