It's a beautiful but quite morning. It's snowing outside. It's cold inside. My fire is struggling in the fireplace. Steve's not here to build a man's fire. The kids are at co-op. I need to write an update on our adoption.
It's been a while since my initial post concerning our pursuing two precious siblings in Colombia and that's been because we've been busy putting the final touches on our remodel. We're happy to announce that we're officially in our home and eager to get settled!
It's a new year and God seems to be wanting to teach me more about Him and this journey of faith. It started back in December when I made my first post about our Colombian children. Out of the blue, I received an email from a friend that I haven't seen since 10th grade. That was a long time ago. He had somehow come across my blog and felt the need to respond. In the email, he dared to speak very directly to me concerning my faith for finances. If I weren't familiar with God's strange ways of speaking to me, I would have gotten offended; but, instead I laughed. I couldn't believe that God was actually sending me an email via an old friend! The words went deep into my soul concerning the faith God was calling me to with one line sticking out more than others......."This is the acid test".
I have faith...the fact that I had actually hit "publish" and posted the first blog was a huge act of faith because the voices in my head were giving me every reason not to. What if something happens to the adoption process? What if the money doesn't come in? What if? I could hardly imagine my faith being tested more. Why was God speaking to me so forthrightly about faith?
Two weeks after the blogpost, we received an exciting call. The orphanage in Colombia wanted a pre-homestudy interview and fast! WOW! We couldn't believe this. So, I pulled over on the side of the road and spent two hours telling our story...this was an incredible day! Then the instructions to hurry up and wait! That's how Colombia is, I'm told.
Then finally, the big call came. We were working on the house and the phone rang. Our dear consultant from Florida was on the phone and she wanted to speak to both of us. I got Steve and we put her on speaker phone. The rest is sort of a blur as I recall the words, "The orphanage rejected your letter of intent because you have biological children and has placed your children with an Italian couple". I couldn't speak. Steve said something but I don't remember what it was. I walked into the closet and sank to the floor. What about our children here at home? What about our miracle in December? What about our Colombian children? Would our kids' here at home lose faith because of this? Why?
I wish I could say that I responded like a godly woman would but my response was shock! Steve's response was to appeal. We called a Spanish speaking friend and wrote our letter of appeal to the Colombian contact at the orphanage. Once again, hurry up and wait.
Steve began to seek God daily concerning these children and after asking Him one night how long must we continue to wait and ask, he was reminded through Scripture, in Luke 18, about the widow who continued to plead with this judge and finally got his attention. The judge responded that he would avenge her because her persistence was wearying him. Jesus said, "Shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though He bear long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of man cometh, shall He find faith in the earth?" So, we got the message loud and clear. Don't waiver in your faith. Be persistent. Weary the Judge of the earth if necessary.
We began to spend our time asking God how to tell Kate, Anna, Stephen and Nathan. There was praying and fasting. I was busy trying to make sense of what God was doing and together, Steve and poured over every single detail of this entire process and we still came up with the same conclusion, "those are our children in Colombia and although man has said "No", God hasn't". God determines our lives. When He says "Yes", it's yes. When He says "No", it's no. He can do what He wants and we'll accept it. For now, the yes is still yes and we're not waivering.
This is the acid test.
While waiting and continuing to remodel our home, Steve has been working on a powerful media project concerning the authenticity of Christ and His right to govern our lives. Canon. His working time on this project was upwards of 36 hours and orchestration was nearly complete when he heard his computer making a strange sound. Yes, hard drive failure. No backup.
I knew this was an attack of the enemy. First our Colombian kids and now the message that has been burning in Steve's heart for two years is gone. He turned in disbelief but also in an absolute resolve to continue in faith. As he sat down at the dinner table, my broken husband asked our children to remind him of God's faithfulness. He humbled himself before them and said that he needed his faith to be increased. He was admitting that his soul was under attack and he needed to be reminded of God's providence. One by one, each of our children shared God's faithfulness over the years. Stephen shared how when he was 4 years old that God had put a bubble around him as he waited below the surface in 8 feet of water for his daddy to find him, which happened over a minute later. God saved him from drowning! Kate testified how the tip of her finger grew back after she cut if off peeling potatoes and how she has feeling in it even though the doctors said she wouldn't. Nathan testified about the miracle of how God had spared our family from any harm in a recent car accident and Anna reminded us that God had brought our Colombian children back to us after they were given to another family last fall. Yes, God was faithful and all of our faith was increased as we listened to Him being glorified.
Steve said his goodnights and retired to our room early to spend time with the Lord. As he opened his Bible, it fell open to Luke 11:5-13...it's a good read. Persistence pays off with God. Ask. Seek. Knock. So he did, again.
The next morning, Steve left early for church to attend a men's meeting and I stayed home to get the family dressed. In my quiet time before I woke the children up, I just sensed that it was the day that we should let the kids know what was happening. It wouldn't leave me and so I thought that I would ask Steve about it later to see what he said.
For some reason,that particular Sunday morning it was incredibly challenging to get everyone together and in the car at the same time....there were little frustrations here and there, nitpicking about every little things, etc. What was going on with my kids? So, I cancelled church. "We're not going to church and pretend like we're Christians if we can't be Christians here at home". So, we sat on the couch and began working through our little issues. I had called Steve and left him a message to inform him that we wouldn't be there. I had expected that he would call me back and he did. However, he wasn't so much concerned with what was going on as he was that we weren't headed to church (since we live 45 minutes away). What was the big deal? He would normally want me to deal with the children instead of ignoring their bickering and going to church as if everybody was great...why was this time different? Then he said that he wanted me at church and to listen to the message. It was going to be on faith. The Man of Faith.
I knew instantly that we were to tell the children about the adoption complications that day and then Steve said that was what we were going to do after church. He wanted us to be sitting there listening to the Word of God and declare our position as those who have faith in what they cannot see, believing that it is.
Done. We jumped in the car and soon were sitting there listening to all the verses that God had reminded us of over the last two weeks and more. We had gained a position and the enemy was after it. Were we going to take it sitting down? Steve wasn't but I kind of had been, however, that morning something had changed. I woke up with a resolve to believe God in spite of what I saw.
We sat there over chips and salsa and began to remind our children of God's faithfulness and His goodness and then we told them of our situation. Praise God that the united response was one of faith and expectancy! God hadn't only built mine and Steve's faith the night before through our testimony time but we remembered that we had received a phone call in December that changed our lives so we could receive another one! Our God doesn't have a quota for miracles!
So, here we are. We worship while we're waiting. We serve while we're waiting. We pray while we're waiting. We trust Him while we're waiting. We wait upon the Lord.
One of the things we've learned in this life is that our lives belong to Him...in EVERY situation. He is the author and the finisher of our faith.
So, this time it's just as difficult to hit the "publish" key as it was with the first post. This time not because something might go wrong....but because it already has. This time, it's challenging because I'm sure we look crazy continuing to stand for these children when so much is against us. It's hard because we could be accused of being in denial or foolish in the first place for believing that God ever spoke to us. And worse....God might look like a liar to those who believed He did speak. So many reasons to leave this message in my draft box.
Nevertheless, we stand ... and I hit the "publish" key.
Will you join us in prayer for these children that God will protect them and keep Him in His hands? Will you pray for us that we will remain strong and confident in the face of such adversity? Will you pray for the orphanage that they will change their stance and give our little ones back to us? Will you help us pray that this Italian woman will be able to have children? Will you pray for our faith to be stronger than ever?
Heb. 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please Him; for he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him."
